Perfectionism is often celebrated in our culture.

You're organized. Responsible. Reliable. The one who remembers the pediatrician appointment, signs the permission slip, brings the snacks, and somehow keeps everything moving.

From the outside, perfectionism can look like success.

But on the inside?

It often feels exhausting.

Many of the moms I work with describe feeling like they're constantly chasing an impossible standard. No matter how much they accomplish, there's always another task, another expectation, another reason to feel like they're falling short.

What many people don't realize is that perfectionism isn't always a personality trait. Sometimes, it's a trauma response.

If you’ve found yourself snapping more easily, feeling constantly overstimulated, or wondering why you feel so angry all the time after becoming a mom — you are not alone.

And no, it does not make you a bad mother.

One of the hardest things about maternal mental health is how often moms are expected to keep functioning no matter how overwhelmed they actually feel. You’re still supposed to show up, care for everyone else, manage the mental load, regulate your emotions, and somehow appreciate every moment while doing it.

Meanwhile, many mothers are quietly drowning in overstimulation, resentment, anxiety, guilt, exhaustion, and nervous system overload.

And honestly? We do not talk nearly enough about how common mom rage actually is.

If you’re a parent in New York, you’ve likely heard of NYS Paid Family Leave (PFL). On paper, it’s a win—guaranteed time off and a portion of your pay. But in reality, transitioning from "worker" to "full-time parent" (while recovering from birth) is a massive mental shift that a state handbook just doesn’t cover.

While PFL gives you the time to be home, it doesn't automatically give you the tools to manage the anxiety, isolation, or identity shifts that come with it.

Here is how to navigate the NYS PFL system while prioritizing your mental health.

Becoming a mother changes everything.

Suddenly, there is a tiny human who depends on you for survival, and with that responsibility often comes worry.

You might find yourself checking the monitor repeatedly before bed. Googling symptoms late at night. Wondering if your baby is breathing. Replaying decisions in your head and questioning whether you're doing enough.

Some worry is a normal part of becoming a parent.

But many mothers find themselves wondering:

"Is this normal, or could I be experiencing postpartum anxiety?"

If you've been asking yourself that question, you're not alone.

As a perinatal mental health therapist serving the amazing families of New York State (including right here in Ithaca!), I've been following the buzz around Artificial Intelligence (AI) in various fields, including mental health. While AI offers intriguing possibilities for certain aspects of well-being, I believe it's crucial to address why it falls short, particularly in the nuanced and deeply relational work of postpartum mental health and online therapy.

There’s something about summer—the slower pace, the longer days, the feeling of exhale after a long stretch of doing, doing, doing. Calendars open up a bit. The sun lingers into the evening. And for many, there's finally a little space to breathe.

While summer often gets filled with beach days, family trips, or time outdoors, it can also be a powerful time to turn inward. That natural pause you're feeling? It’s not just about rest—it's also a chance to reconnect with yourself. And for moms or moms-to-be navigating prenatal anxiety, birth trauma, loss, or depression, this season might be exactly the right moment to begin that healing process.

Bringing a baby into the world is life-changing, beautiful, and often, well, a little overwhelming. If you've ever thought about seeking support during pregnancy or after birth, you might also have run into some confusion or hesitation. It's totally normal to have questions about something unfamiliar, and sometimes, those questions can turn into myths that keep us from getting the help we truly deserve.

As a therapist specializing in prenatal and postpartum mental health, I often hear common assumptions that create misunderstandings about what postpartum therapy (and therapy for pregnant women) is really all about. Let's clear up some of that confusion!